@ron_n's house

Funny Old Web: Ling’s answer to the EU’s online privacy directive

Ronny — Wed, 02 May 2012 17:47:41 +0000

Eccentric genius auto entrepreneur Li ng Valentine doesn’t mince her words about the impending EU online privacy law:

Piss off Von Rumpy. Me… I hammer visitors to death with cookies, so I can find out what they want. Cookies allow my website to serve visitors the content they need. Get used to it. The EU cookie law is an ass.

Some of the cookies used on this super hi-tech site include:

cookie:is_visitor_ginger=no;
This cookie monitors accidentally open video feeds (ie. webcams) and measures the occurrence of ginger Hex Code #B06500 and RGB code 176, 101, 0 on the pixel display return. Modifies prices, based on likelihood of visitor being Scottish.

cookie:hair-colour+shampoo_type=PANTENE;
This cookie uses monitor reflection technology to determine the lumen return and head-shaking of the hairy user.

cookie:how_gullible_is_visitor=COMPLETELY;
This cookie sees how many times this cookie viewer is invoked to determine the gullibility and stupidity of visitors.

Source: Lingscars.com

Spotted by @lakey

The many faces of Michael Fassbender in Shame

Ronny — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 17:46:33 +0000

Unlike the critics (and I’m guessing most of the UK filmgoing population) I found ‘Shame’ a cold, overdrawn grind.

Oh wait, was that the point?

8 great forgotten films of the 1980s

Ronny — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 12:32:18 +0000

It turns out the 80s wasn’t all sexist cocktails and coke-snorting donkeys – these are eight ’80s films that are still (mostly) acceptable today:

Cutter’s Way, starring Jeff Bridges as a Vietnam vet still fighting the man (in ’81)
Sidney Lumet’s Running on Empty (1988) with River Phoenix, about a family on the run from the FBI
The Hidden (1987) has Kyle MacLachlan playing the Dale Cooper role from Twin Peaks before time. He’s on the track of an all too 80s body-snatching alien with a penchant for Ferraris and bad music (pretty much as brilliant as it sounds.)
**British film alert** – Stephen Frears’ the Hit
Dreamscape, where Dennis Quaid can enter people’s dreams. And meets a snake man (…paging Doctor Freud)
If you’re a fan of Nic Cage losing it (and believe me, I am) see Vampire’s Kiss. Think Nosferatu meets Wall Street. And you thought Gordon Gekko was a bad ‘un?
Kathryn Bigelow’s directorial debut Near Dark (1987) is a deeply unpleasant vampire film. But in a good way.
If Near Dark mixes the cowboy with the vampire, Night of the Comet = high school film + zombies. Why did no-one think of this before?

Any I’ve missed?

Walking Larven, Knoydart in Western Scotland

Ronny — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 13:11:51 +0000

Walking Lavern, Knoydart, W Scotland – August 2011 from Ron Nussey on Vimeo.

My legs hurt for days after this, but was worth it – one of the most beautiful walks in Scotland.

Online retailers, or CATS?

Ronny — Sat, 29 Jan 2011 15:49:02 +0000

[blackbirdpie url="http://twitter.com/#!/ron_n/status/30997500055785472"]

Funny Old Web: E-petitions at number10.gov.uk – democracy in action

Ronny — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 13:50:41 +0000

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to make it legal to push a saveloy in and out of a big bowl of blancmange whilst singing ‘rock me amadeus’ by falco.

And while you’re about it, why not Ensure the PRESERVATION OF PEACE IN SPACE.

Also, ban Dog Washing machines.

Saveloy petition spotted by @shanerichmond

Funny Old Web: Lego Spinal Tap

Ronny — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 18:54:36 +0000

Joke heavy metallers Spinal Tap were ruled inappropriate for Lego’s target audience this week. Other classic examples of the Lego poodle rock genre include Rammstein, System of a Down and AC/DC.

All of which begs the question: will hard rock feature in the forthcoming Lego Movie?

Source: Brand Republic

Funny Old Web: Internet adds 12th website

Ronny — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 18:45:27 +0000

The Onion reports from Beijing: “The World Wide Web, a device used solely for the enrichment of the nation and the advancement of lasting social stability, gained its 12th website, SeedStore.com on Monday.

According to news source NYTimes.com – the 10th website, which did not exist before December 2008, no matter what many treasonous and deceptive search engines claim – an estimated 1.5 billion people currently use the Internet’s 12 web pages.”

Source: The Onion

Funny Old Web: It’s the Final Tweetdown

Ronny — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 18:42:28 +0000

Documents hacked this week from Twitter HQ (and then published on TechCrunch) include full details of a mooted Twitter reality TV show, ‘Final Tweet’. The blurb:

“’Amazing Race’ meets the trend of the new social networking era (sic) in this unscripted story where twitterers nationwide participate in helping teams choose their adventure to their final destination.”

More Wacky Races than Death Race 2000, then.

Source: TechCrunch

Funny Old Web: Gallo’s Humour

Ronny — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 18:34:25 +0000

Truly bizarre: H&M model, musician and erstwhile actor Vincent Gallo’s website really gives new meaning to the term ‘monetising your assets online’, with an entry that reads:

“I, Vincent Gallo, star of such classics as Buffalo 66 and The Brown Bunny have decided to make myself available to all women. All women who can afford me, that is. For the modest fee of $50,000 plus expenses, I can fulfill the wish, dream, or fantasy of any naturally born female.”

Source: vincentgallo.com